Filed under: Daily Specials | Tags: assholes, broke, coffee, life, optimism, random, school, work, writing
Last night’s drink: Vendange merlot.
You can tell by the steady decline in the quality of my alcohol that I’m still recovering from the financial blows of the holidays. That, and Wells Fargo is a business based on the highest grade of assholes alive. Don’t ever use them. EVER.
Despite having a only a few Washingtons to my name, I’m finding that I already have a lot to keep me occupied until the payday after rent. Thanks to my insider connection with a coffee roaster, I have at least a three-month supply of delicious coffee, which makes me feel better no matter what. I also have a lot of food in my fridge, thanks to the sustaining properties of peanut butter and jelly. I have makeup, nice clothes, and a flat iron, which help me to garner mood-lifiting compliments. I can clean my apartment, and cleanliness is next to godliness. I have full use of my legs, so I can walk to anywhere downtown, in Balboa Park, or bayside, where people watching is at a premium. I have paid my phone, internet and cable bills, so that’s set for a month. I am engulfed in a book that I love, which is the height of satisfaction. But mostly, I just have coffee. Without coffee, I wouldn’t be in the mood to appreciate everything else. Now I just need a friend in the wine business.
I started school at the beginning of this month, so I’ve been writing a lot, just not in here. Jenn said that she missed my blog, and I really appreciate that. The funny thing is that I’m still getting a lot of hits – mostly from people googling the term “crossdresser” (in reference to my “Pink Swoon” post from October). There are some pretty interesting blogs out there from crossdressers. Some of those might even be just as entertaining without coffee.
Going back to school has renewed my outlook on life, and on myself. I feel accomplished again, and intelligent, and that I truly do have talents and contributions to make to the world. I can overlook the assholes at work, and recognize that they don’t mean anything to me. The light at the end of my current job is not much farther away than the end of December – or June, if I decide to scrap it all and start waiting tables again. Even with the decrease in pay, I have a feeling I’d be happier overall. I’d definitely have more to write about.
In the meantime, though, I’ll keep looking for satisfaction in free activities, such as walking into the nearest Wells Fargo branch and flipping off the personal bankers, one by one.
I mean… watching the birds. With coffee.
Filed under: On the House | Tags: , coffee, dreams, insomnia, life, morning, October, random, shower, thoughts, work
This Morning’s Drink: SLO Roasted Peruvian blend coffee (the best on Earth – seriously).
My alarm was set for 4:30 a.m. this morning, but I kept having these awful dreams that awoke me at 1, 2, 3 a.m., so that I finally opted for a little peace from my brain, and got an early start to the day.
Usually my nightmares are very similar or even repeats, but the ones last night were brand new. A giant spider living in my heater that was just waiting for the right moment to snip my limbs off at the joints. A crazy man in the middle of the road back home in Dairyville who ran me off the road and into a ditch where he tried to drown me. Those are the two I remember most vividly. The others had to do with a bunch of shapeless images and feelings that I can’t quite describe, though I do recall a lot of dust flying around.
Wow, I already have to get in the shower in 15 minutes. I hate being rushed by life. It’s one of the few things that my insides throw a two-year-old tantrum against. It’s no use, though – life always has the upper hand. And then it’s like, when I get in the shower, life has bested me yet again! For awhile, this was happening every morning before work, and it was really bringing me down. I was so tired that I couldn’t stay awake, and I couldn’t get up early enough to have a little bit of quiet time before the raucus behavior of the day. Too bad it isn’t raucus because I have unique problems, like my two-headed cat won’t stop fighting itself over its Fancy Feast, or the engine of my Delorian keeps cutting out at traffic lights. At least then there would be some new discovery in my problem solving. The stuff I have to deal with now, I feel like I’ve heard it all before on talk radio.
I’ll be so glad when October is over. Something about this month raked me over the coals… and it wasn’t just the So Cal fires. To top it all off, since the fires are threatening to divert a huge chunk of my nonprofit’s income, it looks like I won’t be getting that raise after all.. I’ll be lucky if I get the annual 3% in June. I do love my job again, and I’m sure that I wasn’t meant to take that other offer. But what exactly is the lesson here… don’t follow your gut if it isn’t what Dad told you? I love and admire my Dad to bits, but what a bunch of crap. I guess it is that you make your decisions, and you go with them. I think our nature is to second guess ourselves.
Three minutes until mandatory shower time. I guess I should get the final warm up on my coffee before I brush my teeth. The good news is that it’s Tuesday, and that it will be over early. And in a week from today, I will be flying into my own personal heaven.
