Filed under: Daily Specials | Tags: life, perspective, Stevie Wonder, SXSW, thoughts
Last night’s drinks: vodka and sodas
So am at SXSW for my first year ever, and so far it’s been an interesting experience. The weather has sucked, but Austin has been great, and I’ve already seen more pasties and laptops in two days than I have in my entire lifetime.
While I did go to a really good panel yesterday on the Ecosystem of News, I’ve also been inspired by something Josh said yesterday – “Take pictures, post stuff. I’ve never been there before, so I can’t imagine anything that you’re seeing.”
It made me look at this trip, and this conference, in a really different way. This blog isn’t just my barfing emotions and thoughts all over you, it’s a chance for you to see what I see. If I just imagine that all of you are Stevie Wonder, I can make it my goal to describe the ribbon in the sky.
Just don’t be surprised if it has a lot of geeks hanging around.
Tonight’s drink: Little Black Dress Merlot
I’m in Ripon this weekend for my grandmother’s 90th birthday party. I’m discovering that you don’t realize how old 90 is until you’ve seen someone get there over two decades.
When I worked at the newspaper, I had a column called “Friends and Neighbors” where I wrote about local people of interest. It was pretty commonplace for me to get letters about people turning 100, or 102, or 104, etc. I referred to them, appropriately, as the centenarians.
That was over five years ago now, and I have to believe that some, if not all, of the centenarians I met are gone. When I imagine that, I picture them as little dandelion puffs just whisking away with the breeze. If you don’t watch someone get old, it’s almost impossible to see them as anything but. They become their own sort of life form – a fleeting one, despite the evidence to the contrary.
My dad picked me up from the airport and I went with him to get some groceries for the party. The bag girl asked him if he needed help out, and he replied, “I’m not that old yet.” As we walked out, I thought, “Neither am I,” but something about the “yet” made me feel so mortal all of a sudden. I felt my muscles shiver in the cold air, the strength of my bones, the fluidity of my joints and movements. And then I pictured my grandmother the last time I had seen her. Frail and pale, fingers crooked from arthritis, sliding on her walker. Yet.
It really bugs me when people spout their mantras about “living for today” and “siezing the moment,” because I feel like those things are luxuries, not rights. It’s great to go around smelling the roses, but if you can’t make rent at the end of the month, you’ll be smelling a lot more than that while you’re living on the street.
So this post isn’t about that — or any other sort of advisory about how you’re supposed to appreciate this totally random, irrational existence. It’s just an observation on perspective, I suppose.
And a reminder that I need to take more calcium.
Filed under: Daily Specials
Last night’s drink: Alice White Cabernet Shiraz
So I don’t have the full story behind this yet, but one of Josh’s friends told me to buy a lottery ticket today. Well, he told Josh to tell me. And Josh texted me… I’m overcomplicating this part.
I can’t remember the last time I bought a lottery ticket. I’ve bought scratchers to break $20’s, but a lottery ticket seems much more serious for some reason. It was like graduating from slots to blackjack tables. Except I didn’t have to hide that little cheater card in my lap.
I found out lottery tickets aren’t something you can just pick up at Albertson’s like stamps. You have to go to places like the liquor store on Washington St. which, for some reason, always looks damp and dank. Moldy or no, however, I felt compelled to buy this lottery ticket. Josh’s friends never tell him to tell me to do anything.
It made me think about my dad, and how he used to buy lottery tickets, but only when the pot was $25 million or higher. He couldn’t be bothered with $1 million, or $10 million. He was one of those guys who played the same numbers everytime, but he also bought quick picks. One time he won $20. He gave it to me.
It isn’t that my dad was rich — quite the opposite, actually. He was almost bankrupted by my ex-stepmom. I don’t know what his strategy or theory was, but he was pretty religious about it for a long time.
One day, when I worked at the newspaper, one of the reporters was going off on a rant (as they sometimes do) about how the lottery was the “idiot’s tax” because the odds of winning were so low. To this day, I think that’s a crappy way to look at life.
I’d be willing to bet that most people who play the lottery do it for fun; for the “what if” factor. Of those people, I bet lots of them believe in luck and serendipity. Many of them are probably pretty optimistic, too. Quite a few of them probably have big dreams and even bigger imaginations. Most of them probably have their share of hope.
To deal strictly in tangibles is idiotic, in my opinion.
But – just to clarify – I won’t turn away a tangible load of cash.
Filed under: Daily Specials | Tags: Blog World, fortune, Google, gratitude, reader, religion, winner, work
Last night’s drink: King Fish Merlot
So it only took me one day to fail at NaBloPoMo, but that day was SO great, that I’m going to forgive myself and keep going.
Today’s thought on “letting go” has to do with the phrase, “Let go; let God.”
If you know me, or just happened to come upon a few specific posts here, you also know that my views on religion are a little scattered. A part of me even had a hard time capitalizing the word “God,” because it seems to hegemonic. And my idea of God is humbler than that, and less singular.
This phrase crossed my mind this morning as I was considering my fortunes of the past few days. I’m such a control freak, that I’ve been working myself into a froth over the way some things have seemed to tank in my personal space. I finally peaked like a stiff merengue, and just sort of crumpled down from there. And then, things just started happening.
Most notably and relatably is my winning the Blog World contest yesterday, for which I am extremely grateful. While newspapers fall and the career paths that truly stoke my passion start to face uncertainties, this opportunity feels so crucial to their survival and mine. I’m definitely going to make it count, and even more exciting to me is that I’m going to be meeting others who are doing the same.
I’ve also had many freelancing opportunities recently open up to me, which is definitely a godsend considering all else. The market is so fierce right now, I have to be grateful for any extra work that comes in — especially work that doesn’t involve waiting tables or sucking up to jerks.
Also, the more I let go of my inhibitions and protectionist attitude, the more I find that people open up to me. And I really like you guys, so it’s a pleasure — no matter how strange the stranger.
Finally, I have to give a shout out to Google Reader, because I just recently set it up and it makes me happy in a million different ways every day.
And if any technology embodies God’s work, it has to be related to Google somehow.
Filed under: Daily Specials | Tags: Blog World and, Blog World and New Media Expo, blogging, nablo, NaBloPoMo, SXSW, SXSW Interactive, twitter, vlogging, writing, YouTube
Last Night’s Drink: King Fish Merlot and some others that will go unmentioned.
To kick off the month of letting things go, I finally got over my trepidation for posting videos online, as is clearly evidenced in my submission for the free SXSW Interactive badge from Blog World and New Media Expo. You can see it in all its glory here. (And if you’re feeling so inclined, please retweet!)
I’m also exploring the world of 12 Second Video, though with arguably less flair than my YouTube venture. I’m having a hard time finding interesting things to talk about in a 12 second window of time. I like to expound, pontificate, elucidate — some of those words take 12 seconds just to say!
Maybe I need to implement something like a Na12PoMo (National 12 Seconds Posting Month) so that I’m motivated, incentivized and inspired to post there more.
Oh, how I do love the big words.
