Happy Hour

Last Night’s Drink: Sideshow Contortionist

There is an aspect of beauty and self-image that is missing from the usual mantras of diet, exercise, and confidence: that aspect is poise.

It seems like many people view poise as a stuffy, archaic idea that your grandma used to harp on you about, or a natural byproduct of confidence. However, poise is a complex attribute all its own that combines a person’s physical, intellectual, and emotional states into an intangible, yet noticeable, exuberance. It’s that thing about someone that people are drawn to, but can’t quite describe.

Poise gives an air of confidence, whether or not you actually have it. Just like you can plaster on a fake smile and look effortlessly cool, you can pull on a suit of composure and look as if you’ve got the world by a string. As such, confidence isn’t a requirement for poise; rather, confidence will often follow it. Just like smiling when you’re down will help to bring you up, faking it helps to bring it to fruition.

Poise isn’t about being thin, beautiful, smart, gifted, or anything else that popular media desires - it’s about carrying yourself in a way that shows you are in this world, and that it’s a good thing. However, one of the key factors in poise is class, so that you aren’t being self-righteous about the space you are taking up. Rather, you’re considerate, but substantial. You are not invisible, but your modesty doesn’t apologize for who you are. 

The one prerequisite to poise is self-acceptance, because before you present yourself, you have to know what you’re presenting. Everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, but the key to gaining acceptance of these things is to understand why you don’t like them. Is it because it’s a bad habit that keeps you from feeling your best? Is it because it’s sending a message to others that doesn’t accurately reflect who you are? The most important thing about this first step is to ensure that it’s really you that doesn’t approve of that part of you. If you base your opinion of yourself on popular media and stereotypes, you’ll find that self-acceptance is a moving target. Public opinion is more fickle than a Mac-ophile. However, if this is one of the qualities you enjoy about yourself, then rock on.

Obviously, poise is a balance that you have to strike between good posture, positive attitude, and a self respect. It attracts people’s attention in the same way as overt sexuality and obnoxious behavior, but it maintains your mystery and dignity. No matter what you do and how you bend, someone’s going to criticize you. May as well be ready to justify your actions to yourself, and to keep your back straight as you pass them by.

F*&# ‘em if they can’t take a joke.